syra. uh

playing with fire

2009-03-23T20:24:00.002+08:00

As much as I know that playing with fire is dangerous, I still insist on going on with it though there are many good friends out there who warned me not to.

Am I being desperate here? No, I'm not. Okay, maybe I am but a little perhaps? Okay whatever. It's up to you to decide.

As jiwang as this may sound, aku sanggup pertaruhkan nyawaku demi cinta.

The conclusion is yours to make.

yours truly,
syra.

a blissful night spent with much love

2009-03-22T01:00:00.007+08:00

I never thought the night would turn out to be a blissful one.

Right after I was done with the new layout, I got ready but I had no idea where to go but what I know I just needed to go out. By 8:30pm I was out of the house and walking aimlessly around the neighbourhood park and the next thing I knew I was on the phone with him for less than 10 minutes before we decided to meet. Settled some personal stuff, talked on the phone with girlfriend dear and went home at 9:10pm to get something. I went out again at 9:17pm to meet him but halfway through I went home again to get changed 'cause the night was chilly. So I waited for him. Finally at 9.44pm he reached and I said, "Let's go riding!" The initial plan was to go riding but somehow halfway through the plan was changed and we had supper at Broadway instead.

It was good to see him and had a good talk, updating each other about life's happenings. But I really miss him. ):

Anyway, he commented about how skinny I am right now and I, too, noticed that he's getting skinnier as well. We're both getting skinnier. The other day when I did my medical examination at SATA , I was told that my BMI is 16 (normal range: 18-22) and guess my weight? It's 40kg!

Nevertheless, it was really a good thing that we met up and the night spent was blissful what's with the night riding, chilly wind, hugs and kisses. I miss him badly, actually.

So I reached home almost midnight, updated about him and now I'm getting ready to go out and torn. I can't stand being alone or I'll be the saddest person on earth. Night sweethearts!

And I miss you sooo much, Sha. )':

yours truly,

syra.

dendam dan khianat

2009-03-21T17:00:00.002+08:00

I'm tired yknow playing this game with you. Will you please grow up and be a matured mother cum ex-wife? Is your life too pathetic or you actually lack of love? Kurang kasih sayang gitu? Shame on you, S. You're really thick skin to call him of your own when he said nothing about you. Aren't you ashamed of yourself that all his family members hated you to the damn core? And you still have the cheek to say "Oh well, his parents and siblings were there to witness my presence." Right, when they hated to see you there actually. Just what do you want from him? Haven't you hurt him enough all those 5 years with him? What are you up to now? Money? Or is it simply because you miss his dick, huh? Awww... I mean, can't you got enough of all those other guys you've been sleeping with all this while and when you're with him for the past 5 years? You're one really desperate slut, you know that?

And you, you know who you are- a good friend of him, you're really not helping the situation. I guess you already know and understand the situation now, don't you? Dammit, when I called you to ask for help, you shut me up and gave all kinda false numbers. You think I'm stupid and dumb just because I'm only 17? Sheesh. Try putting yourself in MY (or at least as one of his family members) position. How would you feel? If you can't at least understand, then I guess you're not a human. Or maybe you are but one with a heartless personality. Shame on you too, A. Call yourself one who is 20-something of age. I guess you probably had seen her coming down to the performance that night, right? What can you conclude from there? Seriously, you know what? Your damn bloody good friend is getting back to her and that's the reason why I'd asked for your help the other day coz the good friend of yours have drastically changed just within 48 hours! It's insane okay! Can you please understand that, huh!

And you know why I'm saying all these? Because I know you're a regular at my blog. Honestly, I don't mind if you come here often and would like to find out all the happenings between me and him. Now you've already know what has happened between us (all thanks to S coz her love potion works like magic). The only thing that I can tell you is, Please please please advise your good friend if you don't want to see him being taken advantage again by someone who's just selfish and irresponsible. You probably know who that person is.

To others, if you understand the story, good for you but those who don't, it's okay and you don't need to find out what's really happening.

I'm shagged from all these games. I'm off.

yours truly,
syra.

updates

2009-03-19T13:13:00.003+08:00

So, where have I been?

Hah! Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been pretty much busy with the new life, as it is. For the past few weeks I've been a nocturnal mortal. It's like I'd sleep at 6am and wake up at noon and then got ready to settle some school stuff and when night falls I'd be hanging out with some peepos over at their cribs or the void deck or the town or go makan or wherever shit. Geez, it's been soooooo long since I engage in such night activities. And if not, you'd find me talking on the phone from 8pm to 4am in conference calls with you-know-who. Hah!

Okay seriously tak perlu ehk. But some kaypohchis have been asking what am I up to and what makes me sooo busy that I always reject their invitations. Hah! That's because some people are really selfish and their lives only revolve around their boyfriends' smelly armpit. It's pathetic la kan? I know! Ooops sorry yeah if you feel the pinch. Ouch!

Anyway, last week came one God's slave who invited me to join her along to Zouk's party. Ok best! And and and next month (ehem!) on the 18th Zouk will be celebrating its 18th anniversary and someone has already booked me. Hellyeah! Like, okay la tu, birthday celebration cum party!

Oh speaking of April, I'll be closing down this blog and open a new blog. So, stay tune! (:

And I seriously can't wait to start school on April 13! Right, a day after my birthday. Ok seriously memang tak perlu. But the only thing that I really looking forward to is the clinical attachment. Habis semua patients aku nak dera. Yay, balas dendam! Eh boleh gitu ?

Right, the phone's ringing. Take care sweet devils. (:

yours truly,
syra.

kesilapanmu, keegoanku

2009-03-07T02:22:00.004+08:00

Kenapa harus ini terjadi di saat hatiku terbuka luas mencintaimu ?

Kerana kesilapanmu, aku menjadi ego.
Mengapa sayang mengapa, si dia hadir ketika di saat kau kesedihan?

Oh Tuhan, di manakah silapku?

yours truly,
syra.

be strong

2009-03-06T21:21:00.001+08:00

I've always thought you were stronger.

yours truly,
syra.

when you came

2009-03-05T22:50:00.001+08:00

You came knocking on the door when the house felt empty and lonely.
Don't blame me if I'm going to fall for someone tonight.

yours truly,
syra.

black magic & love potion

2009-03-04T14:49:00.002+08:00

I don't blame you for all the shites that had happened but I blame myself because I started everything right from the start.

If I did not make a big fuss over the misunderstanding, you wouldn't have been hurt. Then you wouldn't be spending the time at the void deck, relaxing your mind, alone. If you weren't at the void deck, she wouldn't pass by and greet you. Then all those history between you and her could have been saved before it came rolling back once more.

But she was great.

Within two days, she's capable to erase your feelings for me and make you fall head over heels for her instead.

Having to live in a modern and sophisticated century, I still can't fathom why people are still practising black magic and love potion.

IT'S DRIVING ME INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

yours truly,
syra.

the beginning of an end

2009-03-03T02:43:00.001+08:00

Tell me once again that I was a mistake right from the start.

When a third party is involved, everything collapses and vanished. Just like how your feelings and love for me had vanished. I can't believe you've transformed into a different person just within TWO DAYS.

How powerful can her spell be?

yours truly,
syra.

fall for you

2009-02-25T20:18:00.002+08:00

Because a girl like you is impossible to find ?

I know we have been fighting every single day without miss but one thing you should know, deep inside I will always love you and I'm missing you every breath that I breathe with you.

yours truly,
syra.

sorry seems to be the hardest word

2009-02-12T05:56:00.003+08:00

What's the use of apologising when it happens in repetition ?

yours truly,
syra.

Kau Ingin Ku Miliki

2009-02-05T15:08:00.003+08:00

Pertemuan yang tiada terduga kini kita saling bermesra
Masa berganti hati diubati mekarnya cinta mula dirasai
Semakin ingin ku cuba luahkan engkau masih tidak mengerti
Cemburu terasa musnahlah impian lihat engkau terus direbuti

Berkali ku nyatakan ku sayangkan padamu namun kau masih membisu
Kau tak mengerti ingin kau ku miliki
Kau menghancuri hati ini

Ku cuba nyatakan rasa cintaku
Hati masih terus keliru
Andai kau fahami isi hatiku yang benar ingin memilikimu

Usah bandingkan sejarah lama
Kau tahu ku benar setia
Seribu untuk bercinta lagi takut dirimu disakiti

Berkali ku nyatakan ku sayangkan padamu namun kau masih membisu
Kau tak mengerti ingin kau ku miliki
Kau menghancuri hati ini
___________________________________

And so, I was blog-hopping (despite the busy packing and unpacking) and found this lyrics in someone's blog. It was once my favourite song but I never fathom the meaning behind it. Initially I thought the song was too tacky. I thought it was too jiwang like a very typical malay song but now when things are seriously getting shaky, I realised how meaningful this song is to us.

I took a moment reflecting back on everything since June 2008 as I listened to the song once more. Yknow, I've been selfish all this while. I only think about myself and my feelings that I never once think about his. I hated his history. I hated everything about him, initially. But I kept everything deep down cause I thought I did want to hurt him. Somehow I got hurt the most and soon I'd start fighting and arguing with him every single day without miss. That's how terribly bad and shaky our relationship has been.

I realised I've been thinking too much and fantasizing his history that we began to drift apart. I've started being rude to him, curse him upside down and anything that you can think of. I bet other girls would want to stay by him. I mean, seriously, how bad can his history be?

But anyways, everyone has their own nightmares and mistakes. He didn't expect such mistakes to occur, did he? It's somehow fated, you see. So right now, I'm picking myself up. Not only am I going to pick myself up, I'm going to amend our relationship and change my attitude towards him too. We're starting everything back slow and steady. But somehow the history seems to be rolling back altogether. To you-know-who-you-are, please stop meddling into our affairs and leave us alone. We just want to be ourselves.

Strange yet interesting, I'm beginning to miss my Darling once again. And guess what? I'm holding on to his shirt and the smell of him makes me droooooooooooool.

Okay back to packing and unpacking, peepos!

yours truly,
syra.

moving out

2009-02-03T22:57:00.004+08:00

It's been almost a decade I've been living in the northern part of Singapore. However, tomorrow will be the last time I'm setting my foot here. Sad? Yes I am. I mean, imagine, I've been here eversince I was four and tup-tup, I'm moving out.

Yeah, I'm moving out. Happy or what?!

That actually explains my long absence in here. I've been pretty busy packing up stuff and deciding on the furnitures. What thrills me most is my new bedroom. It's gonna be in PINK! Pink panther, you might say- Haha!

So yep, I still have to do a little more of packing tonight and tomorrow the movers are here. Guess I'd need a moment of solemnisation (funny or what?) and remembering all the sweet and not-so-sweet moments I had when I lived here. I'm so going to take a stroll in the park later and enjoying the night breeze. Oh dear, I'm really going to miss everything here. The childhood moments and EVERYTHING.

Meanwhile, my blog will soon be inactive coz I'll be pretty busy with the new house. I'm getting all excited with the interior designing and such. And in case you might not know, I've deleted all my social networks including Melayu Singapura of which I just signed up yesterday. I'm recommending everybody to join it coz I find it pretty interesting. Anyway, Melayu SG aside. So where was I?

Oh, so for now, I'm starting everything again. I'm changing my mobile number (again!). I just would like to start a new life. And for the kaypohchis (you know who you are), please stop looking out for me and invading into my personal life. That includes about my fiance as well. We just wanna live our lives like any other peeps. We want the best for our future, and we too want the best for you guys. There are other better people out there, do look out for them okay? We're really nothing. (:

And oh, in case you wanna know where I'm moving to, it'll be somewhere in the East. *winks*

yours truly,
syra.

back & alive

2009-02-02T19:42:00.006+08:00

Like finally, phew, I'm back. So is that a good news or what? Duh, good news for some kaypohchi peeps like you people la who's dying to know how I did my Os, right?

Oh YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.

See? TSK. These kaypohchi peeps really cannot mind their own business. Aiyoyo thambi.

So yeah, I've been pretty busy for the past three weeks. Don't ask me what I'm busied about. I'm just sooo busy. Yeah apart from being damn bloody stressed out. Gah! I've been spending 60% rotting at home and thinking how I'm going to reach the moon and collect the stars in the sky, another 20% chilling out with some peeps, 10% of mourning, 5% of job-hunting and the last 5% thinking of what I should do next. Weird? Hah.

Since February is here, I'd like to forget the whole shit of January coz the month of January is totally full of shits, what's with the everyday cat-and-dog fights with him, misunderstanding and mourning. It's really stupid. Somehow I feel it's too late to regret about everything. But nevermind, what's past is past and so, let's just start everything anew. Teehee! (:

My O Levels? Well, unfortunately (to those kaypohchi peeps), I passed my Os. Alhamdulilah. Miracle or what? Hah. I'm being very fickle nowadays. I still have not decided on my school choices yet and that means I'm course-less. Actually, I just need a long break for now. A very looooooong break. I wanna escape from everything.

___________________________________________________

Anyway, meet the happy family! (:

She shares the same features as me, RIGHT? I know!

He's so naughty but I love love him so much!
Siape tak sayang anak hoyyy!

But this one is the naughtiest one of all but I love him sooooooo much.
And we have been through thick and thin together, and yesterday marks our 8th monthsary. Teeheehee! *smiles mentel-ly*

yours truly,
syra.

Happy Family

2009-01-06T21:25:00.005+08:00

Darling came with a bag full of surprises today. Off we went to Teban Gardens to meet someone and the late afternoon spent there was full of surprises. I shan't elaborate more.

Sesungguhnya aku masih di sini, menemanimu dan mencintaimu sehingga nafasku yang terakhir.

yours truly,
syra.

keredhaan

2009-01-06T21:02:00.007+08:00

Subhanallah. Would Allah be the only one who knows how I'm feeling right now. I don't know if I should cry or laugh. And if I cry, will it be tears of joy or regret or sadness? I don't know. It hit me like a big surprise. After so much that's been done, only now the mystery and secret were revealed. Should I be feeling contented? I don't know.

I don't know how I'm feeling right now. As I'm typing this, my hair is standing at its end and tears are welling up in my eyes. Suddenly I feel so small like a tiny dust. I feel like I'm being cheated. Either my own feelings or that someone else. If I were to regret, it will just mean nothing. EMPTY. Why? Because it's too late. Yes after so much that's been done. If I were to feel happy and contented, why should I?

I want to shout but I can't. I want to say it out but I can't. I don't know. I'm trapped and I don't seem to find the way out.

IT'S JUST UNFAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FOR ME!

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya ujian ini adalah besar untuk hambaMU yang lemah. Walau apapun, ku redha. Demi CINTA.

yours truly,
syra.

Saturday with Darling

2009-01-03T21:09:00.009+08:00

My plan for today: Meet Darling.

I got out of the house in the afternoon, cabbed down to Yishun and popped in front of Darling's workplace to surprise him. He didn't know I'm coming down to Yishun (if he knows, I'm sure he'd tell me Pergi Balik). Indeed, it was a surprise and Darling was smiling all the way as he did his work and I sat in front of him.

After he had finished his work, we walked to his house (because his workplace is just a walking distance from his apartment) and I waited for him to shower and get ready.

He has been wanting to watch a movie so to please him, we watched Yes Man and I swear I didn't understand the storyline though I did laugh while watching it because Darling was busy disturbing me. Sheesh. Well we had the VIP seat and there was soooo much privacy there. *winks*

P.S. Reena tanye aku kat maner tau! Hahaha! *winks*

We left the cinema before the movie end and went to the beach. We ate ice-creams for three rounds as we strolled down the sandy beach and I enjoyed playing with the seawater while Darling took videos of me. Okay I'm like his daughter already. What's with him rolling up my jeans, holding on to my stuff and telling me what to do yada yada yada.

(I don't think I should post the videos. Memalukan okay!)

I'm such a happy, happy girl today. Whee~

P.S. To COPYCATS, please stop publishing your entries like mine. Have some originality please. TSK.

yours truly,

syra.

New Year

2009-01-01T18:37:00.004+08:00

Mom woke me up as early as 6.50am to join her and cousin for shopping at Arab Street. Cousin holds a VIP card and there was a crazy sale at Anglia. We shopped till not-so-drop. So much about saving $$$ as a new year resolution, the three of us ended up spending about $500 just at Anglia.

Tired of shopping, had our brunch at Banquet at the Raffles Hospital. Bid goodbye to Mom and cousin because they're going for desserts at Swensens and I had to buy some Famous Amos cookies for Reena & Awel's 7 monthsary. *winks*

Window-shopped at Bugis Junction and bought the cookies. I did some little shopping at Bugis Street of which I thought of 'In Preparation of the New School-Cool'. It was 12.50pm and by then I had to meet Reena darling at Shaw House to pass the cookies.

After meeting Reena darling, I went over to Far East Plaza for yet another window-shopping but nothing seemed to catch my attention. It was 1.30pm when Mr Darling texted that he has finished working so I told him to come down to Scotts Road and fetched me. But ended up, I trained down to Yishun and guess what? He was sleeping! TSK! Woke him up and had late-lunch & pre-dinner at the norm fast food outlet at Sunplaza before heading off to SEMBAWANG SHOPPING CENTRE!

Yes, Sembawang Shopping Centre is already opened! There were many people yet there aren't many shops. There's Daiso, OP, Guardian, Giant, Esprit, Popular, The Body Shop etc. Just to name a few. We spent about an hour or so at the boring mall and the last place I wanted to go so much was HOME SWEET HOME. Yes, I am that tired okay!

Alright I wanna try on the new apparels we bought earlier and I'm so going to have an early beauty sleep. Good night sweet angels!

And oh of course I did not forget this, HAPPY NEW YEAR sweet angels!

yours truly,
syra.

Memories of 2008

2008-12-31T11:59:00.015+08:00

Finally I'm able to say Goodbye to 2008. Somehow somewhat, I hated 2008 because there were so many horrible things that happened in 2008. However, 2008 is still meaningful to me in some ways. Let me share with you with all the happenings in 2008.

January
-The month I started to become a PIMP. I went out and dated with many boys, and I would always be the only girl in the gang.

-The month I officially got myself busied with O Levels preparations and what's with the overwhelming assignments.

-Being an NE Champion, I got myself involved in some community events and became a facilitator for the Sec 2 (I will always remember this moment!).

February

-I'd actually went out for a Valentines Day date in school uniform. What a shame! I know.

-CNY was celebrated at the hometown! Coolshit.

-I got to know a guy through a Literature programme and we have been friends since. Really, he's such a nice guy.

-February also marks the close friendship between Syamin and me, and we have been towning a lot. (:

March

-This month was when I started to grow closer to QASRINA BTE HAMID and we have been BFF since! I love her to bits. Although we just knew each other, I feel like I've known her since forever. And I still love her till this day! ((:

-I got to know Reena from religious class. Besides her, I also got to know M too. He's sweet like a darling and I've gotta admit this, YES I LIKED HIM A LOT but we're just not meant to be together. ):

-Of course, Mia Musica; the night ought to be remembered!

April

-I skipped school FOURTEEN times this month.

-Best motivational camp ever; Super Teen Camp!

-Not the best birthday I've ever had.

-Best musical ever; WE WILL ROCK YOU at the Esplanade!

-When I began to discover the ugly real truth of a so-called bestfriend, H.

May

-Became the House Captain and took part 2 sports events, Floorball & Captain's Ball, of which both teams got into the First and Third placing respectively. *honoured*

-The relationship between M and me began to drift apart and we stopped contacting each other eventually. ):

-The month full of extra classes, tons of assignments and MT Intensive. All these = BORING!

June

-June 1st; the day I got to know MD HISYAMUDDIN and everything about love begins to unfold. (:

-My first time watching Kuda Kepang performance and since then, I've been watching more of it. *jakun*

-The month where Mr Darling was active in kuda kepang performance. *something that I'm proud of yet quite dislike it*

July

-Who will ever forget this? Racial Harmony Day!

-The month I began to become a pillion rempit and spend more time with Mr Darling.
-Countless dates with Mr Darling. *smiles mentelly*

-The first time I attended a Sikh wedding reception at SG Khalsa Association.

-Azyan's date to Pesta Peti Putih at RCC.

August

-The month I got totally pissed off with H and I never want to admit her as a friend since then.

-Watched To Kill A Mockingbird at Raffles Hotel. (:

-Something I never thought of doing it; Mr Darling & me went to a tahlil event together to comemorate Nisfu Syaaban! Haha!

-I made more friends and been going out till late at night.

September

-Teachers' Day yaw!

-Kes budak-budak tak puase & lepak kat gym.

-First leading. I know, you know. *winks*
-My terawih prayers. Yes, after so long.

-I really can never forget this. I skipped maddy class and off to Geylang with Darling just to eat Dendeng. Hahahaha! Really stupid and funny la actually.

-The first time we watched a movie together ? HAHAHAHA!

October

-Rayer at hometown was indeed GREAT!

-Our pre-engagement; he gave me a 24K ring! (((:

-My first Sheeesha puffs.

-The first to something new. I know, you know.

-Mr Darling bought another new bike, TZM!!!! That makes him having two bikes. Kes budak kemaruk motor. Biase juga...

-Freaky O levels, of course!

November

-The first time I ran away from home actually and slept over at Mr Darling's crib.

-Someone left the household. Boleh pergi jahanam...

-Problems, problems and more problems arise.

-MTS'08 Makan Reunion; best best!

-Musa's dance performance, Dreamcatcher at Jitterbugs.

December

-Vacations with Mr Darling to many different places. (:

-The shopping sprees!

-Most of the time was spent with Mr Darling and the family (since I'm not working). (:

Yes, that's my 2008.

2008 was the year I began to skip a lot of school and classes because I hate the teachers, students and some problematic & hypocrite people. However, I hate O levels the most.

2008 was the year I knew Mr Darling and we have been going out a lot since and share soooo much together. We've been through thick and thin, and we're always there for each other. I never felt any happier than being by his side. He's my everything. (:

2008 was the year I had many friendship rivalries. Need I say more? Heh. Really, I could not stomach these hypocrite bitches and lameshit dogs (referring to the male species). Nevertheless, I found true friends as I go along. Beautiful BFFs like Reena & Syamin. They're the best!

In addition, my tuition group was the best thing too. I always look forward to Saturdays because I'd be meeting the best & crazy peeps on earth; Mr Joharie, Farah, Sharifah, Mardhiah, Hidayah, Malissa, Asrina, Amira, Iman, Aliyah, Afifah, Shidah, Zul, Taufiq and Muhi.

2008 was the year that so many things happened and that's the reason why 2009 is here so that life can be better; filled with lots of joy, love and happiness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVEYRONE!

yours truly,

syra.

out of town

2008-12-30T18:58:00.000+08:00

Mom's out of town and I invited Darling over to my crib to accompany me at home. Hee. *smiles naughtily*

Because you see, I can't be at home alone. You won't understand why but it's okay coz I shan't tell you people coz you people are soooo nosy. Right? Teehee. (:

We had brunch at McDonalds at Sunplaza and simply lazed around. Darling was being so kiddy-kiddy and wanted to sleep so much hence, we head down to the usual beach and he slept on my lap and I watched him sleeping. Not long after that, aku pun join sekali tido. Hahaha!

About time, Darling sent me home as he had to go for his TTT at SSDC. I'm praying hard for him to pass his Class 3. Whee~

Aiyah, so random hor?

yours truly,
syra.

shopping spree

2008-12-29T21:49:00.000+08:00

Today, we really shopped till we dropped. What's more, I had my high heels on and God knows how my feet feel like. It's burning! Ouch.

Okay so the day started off by spending 3 hours at The Centrepoint first and bought a few Guess handbags because they're on sale. Next was the OG and Mom loves Bonia so she bought another handbag. Then we walked over to The Heerens and checked out the dresses at the surfers' shops. The last place was Ngee Ann City and we bought more stuff there.

I'm really shagged and I just need my beauty sleep now. Night night darlings!

yours truly,
syra.

Christmas

2008-12-25T20:39:00.004+08:00

This year's Christmas doesn't mean much to me. Unlike for the past few years, I don't feel like celebrating it. Maybe because the thought of changing my faith has been terminated in some ways after meeting Mr Darling. So Christmas night was spent on the couch in the living room popping Ruffles and Doritos every now and then watching the Phantom Of The Opera.

Christmas day was spent DVD-hunting, window-shopping and meeting Mr Darling.

And of course I did not forget this; Merry Christmas everyone! (:

yours truly,
syra.

miss.

2008-12-18T21:00:00.004+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AKU NAK TURUN YISHUN JUMPA BABY !!!

i miss the romance, loverboy. (:

yours truly,
syra.

Life. As it is.

2008-12-18T14:06:00.004+08:00

Today the GCE N Levels results are out and next month will be the Os. Sheesh idk how I should be feeling now. Nervous or scared or sad or happy? For God's sake, I have not decided on the course choices yet! Well I'm finding a time where I can sit down with Musa to discuss about it but he seems to be busy all around the clock. Mom? We're not in the talking terms right now due to some silly conversation that occured yesterday. I just neeeeeeeeeeeed to meet Darling but he's sick and I don't think I should bother him about this course choices decision. SHEESH.

On a sick note, I have not been working since the holidays started. People might be wondering what have I been doing all this while. Well I've been rotting at home, watching movies, having long conversations on the phone, texting numerous peeps, going out and having fun. I appear to be like a kid for this holiday. Yeah lor, what's with me going to Escape Theme Park, Snow City etc. Guess what? The next two places Darling would want to bring me to is the ZOO and the birdpark! See see, da macam budak-budak kecik kan? Haha I know!

Mom's been pestering me to get a job and she wants me to work in the healthcare field. So does Darling. When I mentioned how about retail sales, he mati-mati bangkang cakap DON'T DON'T DON'T! That's weird. How can Darling and Mom sepakat sejiwa. *shake head* Aduhai cerewet sungguh manusia-manusia ini yer...

I'm getting bored of making phonecalls and I'm so going to give up already. What's more, results are coming out soon. So what's the use, right? BUT BUT BUT I want to go shoooooooopping! I'm so super broke. My desires are killing me every minute now. You know, I've been eyeing the floral printed dresses and bangles! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I want to shop shop shop till I drop.

But first I need $$$$$$$.

Okay I just got hold of Seventeen January issue and that makes me a happy happy girl! Teehee! (:

Anyway my feet are itching to dance on the dancefloor. I soooo wanna go partying. I'm having the speakers booming on its blast and weirdly, I'm shaking to every beat. I wanna party i wanna party i wanna party !!!

But Darling is sooooooooo i-dont-know-what-to-say. He just doesn't allow me to. Okay now tell me, should I be feeling proud to have a fiance like him or should I be sad coz my fiance doesn't allow me to smoke and drink and party?

Should I consider my life as a miserable or a blissful (and blessful) one?

yours truly,
syra.

Wild Child

2008-12-17T17:53:00.005+08:00

I hadn't had the time to catch Wild Child and now, finally I've watched it! Yeah baby yeahhhhh!!! Well, the movie is a soft version of Mean Girls. It nearly moved me to tears coz I was touched!

Wild Child tells a story about Poppy (of all name, why POPPY?!), an American sophisticated chic who was transferred to a boarding school in England where her mom used to school there and was a captain in a sports club.

Poppy has this Paris Hilton kinda look (which I like best) when she first had her feet on her new school. I really love the way she dressed up especially those chain necklaces and her LV purse.

What's more appealing is that EMMA ROBERTS is sooooo adorable especially when she did the cheer thingy. Oh yeah, she also did her thang! And it's soooo WOW (but could have been better and sexier)!

Those who have not watch it, do watch! You won't regret! Definitely Wild Child is 9/10 ! (:

yours truly,

syra.

Snow City!

2008-12-16T13:04:00.003+08:00

I went out of the house as early as 9.30am, impatient to meet Darling. However, he had to settle some family matter first and told me to wait for awhile. I bought The Straits Times, thinking of finding a job but after some phone calls, I got bored. After half an hour of waiting at Woodlands, I decided to try the beach in the early morning. So off I went to the beach. Sitting on the bench alone, watching the sea and listening to music under the drizzling rain. Two hours had past and Darling was nowhere to be seen or heard. Bored, I texted Reena about work. Yeah I'm so random kan? Hee.

I was having a short conversation with a very nice pakcik when Darling reached at 12.30pm. First, we went to the cemetery to visit and read Yasin for Darling's late mom. It was the first time we read Yasin for her though because all this while we only say some prayers. The next thing, Darling broke his old SIM card in front of me with his late mom's spiritual witness. Actually we had a little disagreement last week. Darling is really understanding. He registered a new number and broke the old SIM card just to lose sesiapa yg patut's contacts. Oh yeah, while we were reading the Yasin, a guy friend texted me. Darling read and I know he's a little hurt. I deleted his text and contact detail right at that spot in front of him.

We left the cemetery at 2pm for McDonalds at the Science Centre for lunch (and I had HAPPY MEAL but the toy gift is quite idiotic anyways). At 3pm, we walked over to Snow City. Queued, put on windbreakers (I had 3 layers of it and Darling said I looked like a hot air balloon HAHA!) and got into the snooooow. The snow is so fake because it's dry ice that's made by liquid nitrogen and water. Nevertheless, we had a blast of enjoyment; screaming, shouting and laughing.

PSSST PSST: Reena takmo jealous ok! *winks*

4.15pm and Darling said we should get out of the snow chamber. We had our photos printed!

We had four different snapshots but Darling took the other two.

And the last place to go was home sweet home. We were so shagged what's with the previous night of late-night phonecall. I'm such a happy and lucky girl. One of the reasons is because Darling's like my parents who brings me out during my school vacation. What makes me to feel even more happy was that we had our butts on Darling's new bike TZM! (:

However he insists TZM is my bike and his is RXZ. HAHA! Darling is sooo sweet!

yours truly,

syra.

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

2008-12-12T23:05:00.006+08:00

I just finished watching Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging. I remember reading Louise Rennisons' novels two years ago. At first I didn't quite like it coz it's a bit immature sort-of type but after awhile I enjoyed reading it coz the stories are something that is close to teenagers like us.

The stories written by Rennison are usually about teens who are growing up, wanting to learn about almost everything even snogging.

Anyways about the movie, I'll give 6/10. (I still find Mean Girls and Bring It On the best!) For those who haven't watch, do watch okay!

Alright, what's in store for tomorrow would be Wild Child. I wanna watch EMMA ROBERTS!!!

yours truly,

syra.

nobody. anybody. everybody.

2008-12-12T18:45:00.003+08:00

I want to be anybody like everybody but everytime I'm about to shed, something would stop me. I'm getting annoyed, bit by bit. Can't you understand? Can't they understand?

I did it in a good way but it didn't work. What more could I have done? What more do they want from me? Can't they just be thankful? I did it in a bad way and it turned out nasty. And everybody blames me. FUCK. Can't they fucking understand?

Maybe I should just accept Dad's offer. They would be so happy when I'm gone. Will they miss me? I doubt so.

FUCK these unappreciative human beings. What a shame. Tsk.

Could it have been better if I'm just a nobody?

yours truly,
syra.

random day

2008-12-09T21:02:00.007+08:00

I was woken up by Reena bby's text in the morning, asking me to accompany her for a job interview. Got up, watched teevee and got ready to meet her. We had breakfast cum lunch at LJS. Went here and there at cwp. Anyhoots met Malissa who's currently working at Metro cwp. Omigosh she looks very pretty. If only I'm a guy... HAHAHA! Okay nevermind.

Then we headed off for the interview. To our disappointment, there's no more vacancy. I was disappointed but I feel even more disappointed for Reena. Kesian bby yer.. Hee. It was only 2ish in the afternoon and felt it's too early to go back home. Felt the urge to splurge my ka-chings on some pretty dress but semua tak lawaaaaaaa. Sedih tau!

About time, we went back to Woodlands and hang around at WRL. By then, Darling rang to fetch me home. Said bye-bye to Reena bby and met up with Darling who looked so blue. Got on the bike and off we went to Sunplaza for a short snack at the norm fast food place before we hang around at Blue View roof garden.

My heart feels heavy everytime when we depart for home. Ended up, he walked me home and now i'm missing him all over. Aww...

Oh dear, how random can my entry be!

yours truly,
syra.

sacrifices

2008-12-08T23:15:00.002+08:00

It's Aidiladha today. I've sacrificed something. Although it's nothing much and big, it sends shrill shudders down my spine. What's more, it brings about something in my life and between you and me.

You might be wondering what I've sacrificed. Well, to you it may seem a little thing but you never know and understand how hard it is to masquerade yourself and your feelings.

I've been keeping too many things to myself I'm afraid I may explode like a bomb one day. My mind is set on its most active mode now. However, my soul is set on its least reactive. It's funny how things work actually but what a pity, you still don't fathom about life.

I'm feeling terribly low. God knows why. Sheesh, I don't think I can accept his history just yet.

And I've sacrificed my sorrow.

yours truly,
syra.

Aidiladha

2008-12-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidiladha. I don't know what kind of sacrifices I shall make. She wanted me to text him but I have not typed anything. It's been the umpteenth time I clicked on the Write New Text Message but everytime I did that, I cancelled everything. I'm so lost for words. You see why, coz I haven't have the intention to text and apologise to him yet. Jeez I'm still angry at him. I don't know if I've forgiven him. I mean of all these hatred and broken-hearteds and runaways, do you think I can forgive him that easily? It's been many years he's been doing this; the same thing again and again being repeated from his mouth. Where goes his responsibilities and love and care?

He's enjoying himself outside whereas she's crying head over heels for him, missing him, waiting for him. Does he care? No! Why? Because of pride and egoism, he let her cries and wails. When I texted him with eight messages last few weeks, he came complaining and said I'm being rude and stuff. He even had the thought of putting me inside. I mean, fuck off, I'm such a bloody innocent kid who hasn't committed any serious offence or crime. Just because his reputation has been disputed and what a big ego and pride he has, he can't just follow his angst. THINK TWICE, IDIOT! Seriously, I'm hating him very much now because I'm very angry. Hmpff. Marah tau!

Nonetheless, I'm very thankful for having Syam by my side all the time. He's been such a great companion all this while. I don't know how I will do without him. He's everything to me. He's like a mother, father, brother, sister, bestfriend and even girlfriend! Haha! But most importantly, he's my boyfriend cum fiance cum husband. Teeheehee. (: He's been giving me lotsa advices and support. What's more, he even smuggled me into his house when I ran away from home last month. Haha!

Right now I'm just thinking and imagining beautiful things like how both Syam and me would spend time at his new house (well he's planning of buying a house) and how lovely it would be when we can live together under one roof. Oh speaking of him, I'm missing him all over again. I think my phone's ringing.

Anyhoots, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha!

yours truly,
syra.

sheeesha

2008-12-06T16:57:00.000+08:00

Sheeesha moments at Amirah's Grill Restaurant & Cafe

I really love this drink. It's a mixed of milk and yoghurt. You may choose to have it sweetened or salted. I opt for the sweetened one. It's a MUST TRY!

It's pita and garlic bread with two different sauces. Very tasty.

Their mushroom soup isn't the best. ):

It's Sirloin-something. MUST TRY!

Middle-Eastern pizza. It's just an average kinda thing.

Of course the SHEEESHA! This was a Mixed Fruit flavour. TAK BEST!

However the next three days we came again and had Peppermint & Strawberry. ok MUST TRY! =D

muka step habis. haha.

HAHAHAHA! Take a peek at my nostrils!

Happy happy us! Teehee.

The food weren't the best Middle Eastern cuisine. Nevertheless we came there for sheeesha. However, the interior design and atmosphere (it was such a serenity!) of the restaurant is the best thing of all. What's more, there's sooo much privacy because we had the second level of the restaurant all to ourselves! *winks*

That day Syam and me dined in at an Egyptian restaurant. Two weeks later, the family dined in at a Turkish restaurant. I'd say the food at the Turkish restaurant is better.

So, what's in store next? Lebanese? Hmmm...

yours truly,

syra.

ETP!

2008-12-05T12:45:00.000+08:00

Earlier this week, Daddy brought me to the Escape Theme Park. Ok i sound so kanak-kanak first time dapat pergi situ. But I was super happy lah kan and I really enjoyed myself coz we had FUN FUN FUN!

And I love my DADDY!

yours truly,
syra.

Evolution

2008-12-04T18:20:00.000+08:00

So yes, I'm back on track. What's more wonderful, I'M ALIVE. As many might have thought AND mentioned it, I've been dead.

I'm laying out my new life ahead of me. I'm loving my soul companion and the time spend with him are always meaningful. I never regret.

Some people may think I'm escaping but no honey, I'm not. I'm just putting the history behind because I don't wish to remember much of it. Some very fortunate people are among the luckiest people as you're being updated of my new whereabouts.

I've changed my mobile number, email address, created a new Friendster as well as a new blog. Those unfortunate people who manage to locate my new breeding space, I shall say thank you and good job for the little effort done on your part- and on respectable note: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

Why, thank you. I shall update more. Teehee. (:

yours truly,
syra.