I've always thought you're stronger.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Subhanallah. Would Allah be the only one who knows how I'm feeling right now. I don't know if I should cry or laugh. And if I cry, will it be tears of joy or regret or sadness? I don't know. It hit me like a big surprise. After so much that's been done, only now the mystery and secret were revealed. Should I be feeling contented? I don't know.
I don't know how I'm feeling right now. As I'm typing this, my hair is standing at its end and tears are welling up in my eyes. Suddenly I feel so small like a tiny dust. I feel like I'm being cheated. Either my own feelings or that someone else. If I were to regret, it will just mean nothing. EMPTY. Why? Because it's too late. Yes after so much that's been done. If I were to feel happy and contented, why should I?
I want to shout but I can't. I want to say it out but I can't. I don't know. I'm trapped and I don't seem to find the way out.
IT'S JUST UNFAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FOR ME!
Ya Allah, sesungguhnya ujian ini adalah besar untuk hambaMU yang lemah. Walau apapun, ku redha. Demi CINTA.
yours truly,
syra.
9:02 PM
